… always be quick. We live in an age where performance and speed are crucial. Do your work quickly so that people recognize that you are valuable to the company. Speed can be both a blessing and a curse in many areas.
„Hurry up, always do it quickyl“ – But:
I take the time that is good for the cause and good for me.
It can also be fun.
When I slow down, my decisions and results improve.
… strong, show no weaknesses.Generally speaking, many young men will have heard this phrase in one form or another. But is there anything wrong with showing weakness? Aren’t we in the process of breaking stereotypical ways of thinking?
„Always be strong, don’t show weaknesses“ – But:
Weaknesses make you human.
Feelings make you human and likeable.
Only when others see you as you really are do you appear approachable and honest.
Only when you show your weaknesses will you receive help and not be alone.
I am allowed to „put myself out there“ for others.
I don’t have to achieve and accomplish everything to be worth something.
… look at the inner driver. We all know them. Phrases that come up in everyday life and consciously or unconsciously put us under pressure. We probably even heard many of them as children. Permission sentences help you to take the harmful edge off your inner drivers.
„Always be perfect“ – But:
Nobody can be perfect.
Usually 80% is enough.
I can also make mistakes and that’s okay.
I take care of my health, which is more important than a 100% result.
Over the next few weeks, I’ll remind you of a few sentences that I’m sure we’ve all heard before. Let’s break down these punchy sentences together.
… the year together. How do you spend your Christmas time? Are you relaxed or stressed? Shortly before the end of the year, the Career Service team at the University of Siegen met once again for a relaxed evening with a delicious meal. With a good mood and new plans, we will continue next year. We say goodbye to a nice Christmas break and wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
… motivated work. Who hasn’t experienced this? You wake up and realize that your motivation is at a very low level. An external incentive doesn’t always help. Ideally, you will find an inner driving force that motivates you. A few changing sentences and a simple exercise can help.
Phrases that change:
„I want to“ instead of „I have to“
„I can work on this task without much effort“ instead of „This work is boring„
Visualize the relevance of the task or ask the question: What is better afterwards?
Pick one of the sentences above that appeals to you the most at this moment.
Take an index card and write the sentence on the front. On the back, write an example situation in which the impulse is helpful for you.
Put the card in your wallet/handbag/jacket so that it is always to hand.
… control is better. Losing control of things can often throw us off course. But sometimes it helps us. Let go and let yourself drift. Save up your strength so that you can get going at the right moment. Letting go mentally (3 to 5 minutes)
Take a seat on a chair. Close your eyes. Rest your arms and hands on the back of the chair or fold them loosely in front of your stomach. Your feet are in contact with the floor.
Notice the sounds of your surroundings, your thoughts and emotions, your body.
Just let everything be there. Let what happens happen. The sounds, your thoughts and emotions.
You are just there and do nothing but be there. Allow everything to be there and let it happen.
Note: This exercise, used regularly, is first and foremost a classic relaxation exercise. However, it also trains the ability to let things happen and not always wanting/needing to control everything.
… from the earth. Letting go is not always easy. No matter in what respect. But sometimes you have to let go in order to find yourself anew. Letting go physically (3 to 5 minutes)
Choose a relaxed sitting position and close your eyes. Your feet are in contact with the floor, your arms and hands are resting on the back of the chair or are folded loosely in front of your stomach.
Focus your attention on your body. Your arms, legs, pelvis, abdomen, breathing, back, shoulders, neck, head and forehead. Walk through all the passages attentively.
Can you feel the tension? Are there places in your body where you feel strain? Realize that you don’t need to exert yourself while sitting. Allow the effort to fade away where you feel it. After a while, you should be sitting without any effort at all.
Tip: If you practise letting go physically for a few minutes at a time throughout the day, you will also become better at letting go mentally over time.
… vacation. Everyone has probably heard this advertising slogan before. Vacation is always good and beautiful. Escape from everyday life and simply enjoy a change of scenery. New countries, new cultures, sounds, smells and tastes. All of this makes for a great vacation. But what if you can have a little vacation at home every day? The inner vacation (3 to 5 minutes)
Take a seat and relax. Close your eyes and allow yourself to take a little trip down memory lane. Experience situations in which you were completely relaxed and felt at ease. Which situations come up?
Which situations do you want to choose and explore in more detail? Where, when, with whom was it? What images, sounds, smells, tastes do you associate with the situation? Maybe you want to stay in this situation for a few moments.
What feelings and moods do you perceive in your body?
Enjoy your feelings and moods and everything pleasant that you associate with this situation until a certain wake-up time.
… only as old as you feel. Everyone has probably heard or said this saying at some point. If you do not feel 100% comfortable in your body, this can be an additional burden. Try the following exercise, which you can easily do anywhere.
Progressive muscle relaxation (10 to 15 minutes)
Choose a comfortable position (sitting, lying, standing)
First direct your attention to your breathing
Start with the arm:
Move your attention to the arm
Make a fist, pull your arm to your body, tense your muscles with about 80% intensity and hold the tension for a few breaths.
Now release the tension and keep your attention on the arm for a few moments.
Perform the exercise with your other arm in the same way.
Face: squint your eyes, pull the corners of your mouth outward, press your tongue against the roof of your mouth, hold the tension for a few breaths, release and trace.
Torso: pull the shoulder blades back, tighten the abdomen, tense the gluteal muscles, release and trace
Neck and throat: tense muscles, press chin toward chest without touching chest and hold for several breaths, release and trace
Leg: tense muscles, curl toes down, release and trace. Repeat with the other leg